Elliot (slugboi) wrote,

  • Mood:

grow up

so I'm talking to Pel. Friends again and all. Good times. I retained both my dignity and my good friend. go me.

I also have a new therapist, with my first appointment on wednesday at 5:30, now, that is an odd time for a therapy session. I also have ochem section at 7, so I'm gonna have to do something creative to get everywhere ontime. Anyway, I talked with her, and she seems pretty cool. She says if I sign the release forms she'll talk with my old therapist so she'll be able to write my letter for T sooner. Maybe I'll actually pull this off before I go to canada. That is, if I get the position.

I am so ready for testosterone. I've been wavering on the issue since I started thinking about it over a year ago. I've been pretty sure I wanted T at some point, but I was unsure when. "After top surgery" was kind of my way to put it off. I mean, I'v heard scars heal better on estrogen, so there was reason for it. But now, I'm definitely ready. I guess I feel like I'm growing up. Because I've really been growing up. As a human being, as a young man, and also as a transguy. I usually dislike really identifying as a transguy, because I prefer to be just a guy, but whatever. In this case, I just mean that things are making sense now. I'm a guy, and I know it. I don't obsess anymore about how people see me. I still get irritated when people can't get my name. But my main irritation is just being seen as a little kid. I had a guy at this comedy show at Cafe Mare, the opening comedian, he came up to our table and asked how old I am, and he wouldn't believe me. He kept trying to find out if I was pulling his leg. Right now I'm looking to be seen as the age I am, as the age I feel, more than anything else.
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